garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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