can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
