What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
