I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
foreskin is a definite game changer
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
