I feel like abortions should bother me more
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
