I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
