I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
