words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize