just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
