He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
