Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
