found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
