You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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