It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
