it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
