i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
