worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
