Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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