$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
two words: eviction party
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
