I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
