It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
