I feel like abortions should bother me more
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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