everyone is single if you try hard enough
Little spoons don't ask big questions
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
