I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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