This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Randomize