she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
