I accidentally burped into my bong.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
