Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize