people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
