I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
