Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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