who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
