Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
