i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
