Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
