Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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