i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize