I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do vagina's smell?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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