Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
