You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize