i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No subtext here. People are naked.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Bring me that man meat
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
