Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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