She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
