Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
