what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
