You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he was CRYING into my vagina
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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