let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
