she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
