Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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