Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How does one acquire holy water?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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