Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
