if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
