No more Irish car bombs ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
