why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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