How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
