I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
