hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize