bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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