Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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