by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My ass is underappreciated
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
