is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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