Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
