I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize