i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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