Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
