I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
