Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize