A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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