He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
