she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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