two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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